So. I had every intention of posting a letter to my father yesterday, but I just couldn't do it. Even after all this time, the pain is too raw, too sensitive that I really can't come up with a coherent thought. Just that I miss you all the time, Dad. Anytime Lori says something clever, I think of you. Especially when she is sarcastic and cutting, at those times I know the legacy lives on.
Father's Day since his death is difficult because his birthday was at the same time, it's just too many anniversaries and reminders. Add to that the fact that Mom died at this time, it's just too much.
While the SgtMaj went fishing I had a Phoenix Rising Yoga treatment. Very interesting and cathartic. After, I went to The Ruby Room and had a crystal treatment for my head (way cool) and then a facial. While that may seem overly indulgent for a holiday honoring fathers, I needed it. And as the old saying goes: "If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy"
I've decided to give Yoga another try as well. I have tried it many times in the past with no success. I have trouble hearing the instructor and then feel selfconscious, and then feel fat, clumsy, uncoordinated, etc etc. You get the picture. I really liked the girl that performed the treatment and plan to take some private instruction for a while before trying the class. We'll see how that goes.
I just know I have to do something for my general malaise. Of the spirit and the body.
We had a lovely dinner at Wildfire Restaurant on Saturday for Father's Day. Just the three of us, our little family without the distractions of the extended family. It was enjoyable seeing the SgtMaj and the daughter conversing as adults. Not just as father/daughter, but as people. There might be hope yet for the old boy.
So a Happy Belated Father's Day to all of the Dads out there, both male and female.
It takes a special person to be a real Dad. I miss you.
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