Thursday Randomness

**Warning**This post really doesn't have a point, it's just my thoughts at 3am this morning.

I think I'm a pretty good person. I try to treat others with dignity, I respect others' faiths and customs even if I don't understand them. As long as you don't run amok and hurt someone, I'm cool with it. Go head and pursue your happiness.

I worked geriatics and hospice for years...letting patients into my hearts and doing my best to ease their pains.
I regularly give to charity. If I have cash in the car I give some to the homeless man at the stop light....it's not my place to question if he really is homeless, if the money is going to feed his addictions. That is between him and his god.

I have volunteered my time to endless Scouting and school functions. I have helped the reading programs at the elementary school and been a Key Volunteer for the Marine Corps.

I pay my taxes, albeit grudgingly. (And isn't albeit a cool word? I love the sound of it. I wish I could use it more)

I am a generous mother and sister. I try to be a good wife. (Admittedly this is a tough one)

Until recently we never owned our own home. I have lost count of the number of rental properties that we have lived in from one corner of the country to the other. Military life is not for the faint of heart, that's for sure.
And every single time, we have left the place spotless. It never occurred to me to do anything else.

I am an overly generous tipper. If I receive bad service I am reluctant to complain...for I have worked tedious manual jobs in the past and know how tiring it is to deal with the public.

I think puppies and kittens are cute. I support the ethical treatment of animals.
I try my very best to live as green as possible.

What's the point of this? I don't know...I just keep thinking about the condition of the apartment. I am honestly hurt that people (supposedly family friends, no less) would leave it so messed up. Why would someone do that? It's not like we are rich, putting down the common man. We don't make anything after we pay all of the bills..we have tried really hard to take care of the place after Mother's death.

I am just so tired. Tired of playing by the rules. Tired of paying my taxes. Tired of paying my bills and never getting ahead.

Bah.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful I have a job, a home, a family.

I am immensely grateful I live in a country where I am allowed to practice my faith. To be a free woman that is not stoned for committing adultry (not that I have or plan to, mind you). My parents didn't sell me to the highest bidder. I wasn't abused as a girl, but rather loved to the best of their ability.

I have a beautiful, funny intelligent daughter whom I adore.

A husband that loves me and has put up with my sarcasm, pessimism, moodiness etc. and has loved me for 30 years in spite of it.

I have a nice home, a wonderful sister....faithful lifelong friends.

I am relatively healthy.

I'll shut up now. Have a good day

People amaze me everyday

So how did you spend your long weekend?

At the beach? On a picnic? Maybe having lunch and shopping with a friend?

Me? Oh, I spent all three days shoveling out an apartment. And painting, and spending money I didn't have on an apartment building I never wanted.

Wow, fun times.

One of our tenants decided to move out. Not a problem, right?

Well their lease doesn't end until October 1st. They haven't paid their September rent (oh that's right, because they were planning to move, duh). The thing is they hadn't paid their August rent either.

Whatever.

I guess they planned on their security deposit counting toward that unpaid rent. It wouldn't bother me that much if they hadn't trashed the place.

And I mean trashed.

We pretty much had to shovel it out. Filthy litter box, broken toys etc., etc.
It took 4 men all of Saturday to haul it out.

It took 3 coats of paint to cover the hot pink walls in the living room.

The beautiful Kohler pedestal sink that I bought and installed in the bathroom myself is now barely fastened to the wall.

I personally refinished the built-in china cabinet in the dining room. It took me over a month to get all of the layers of paint off. I ordered special drawer pulls that were historically correct for the building. Half of said pulls are missing.

That apartment was the nicest one in the entire building. Newly finished hardwood floors, lovingly restored fireplace, custom paint job.

Trashed.

Breaks my heart.

The clincher:

Wait for it.....

They were friends of my brother.

Not strangers, friends.

Nice.

May I Vent?

I know, oh I know that there are those so much worse off than I am.

Women with cancer

Women in abusive relationships

Women that are homeless or on the verge of losing their home

Mothers with children that are ill or overseas fighting this endless war

But, May I vent anyway?

First, I have found that the older that I get the more that I crave a peaceful existence. I am reminded every day of the Frugal Gourmet who would end his show saying: "I bid you peace". Wow, how simple, but how powerful.

I don't need nor do I want a lot of material possessions any more. I want an orderly comfortable home, good health to me and mine, and peace.

Peace.

Freedom from melodrama

Freedom from conflict

Which seems to be the one thing I am not allowed to have. (Don't we always crave what we don't have?)

I don't know if I have mentioned the money pit that I inherited from my mother. It is a vintage apartment building in a very up and coming neighborhood in Chicago. I am sure at one time it was quite the showcase of the neighborhood. When you look closely you can see the shadows of her graceful youth

The ornate moldings. The huge oak mantles above the fireplaces. The built in china cabinets in the dining rooms. What was once a grand sweeping staircase in the hallway. The marble in the entryway.

But not all of the apartments have these things. Over the last almost century and a half, many things were replaced or just removed.

These days, everyone wants green and modern. Not the echo of an ornate past.

So once again we have tenants moving out. Tenants that have not paid their rent for the last couple of months. Tenants that have no reluctance to leave a fithy apartment behind.

Did I mention that I never wanted this building?

That it makes no profit?

That it breaks even only when everyone pays their rent?

So I am off to check out "the building". To paint. To sand. To pray that people pay their rent.

To pray the housing market improves so I can sell it and after paying off the sizeable mortgage and debt, distribute the small proceeds to my siblings.

And maybe, just maybe, be at peace.

TA DA!

The finished bathroom! The pics really don't do it justice. It is so calming, so peaceful that the past three weeks of living out of a suitcase, inches of dust on everything and many thousands of dollars later were worth it.

Now excuse me, I think I need to sleep in the tub

During

HOT DAMN! A WALL!

Demo

And to think I was considering staying here while they did this

Before

The before pics:




You're welcome